Honestly, I'm a Liar, & Other Balances & Imbalances

May 24, 2016

surrendering you senseless

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , — namelessneed @ 12:13 pm

Schlafwagen und Wunderkammer (Richard James Allen)

Posted on May 24, 2016 by in Heightened Talk

FullSizeRender(‘Schlafwagen und Wunderkammer’ is German for ‘sleeper’
or ‘sleeping car’ and
 ‘cabinet of curiosities’ or ‘wonder room’)

you are on the night train to Vienna
and you have already arrived in Berlin
you are about to walk home in Sydney
and you must dash back out to see
the play that is now more popular
than Hamlet in London

you are cold in your high sleeper bed
that you collapsed into
when the night heat came on
suddenly in a rush
without getting under the covers
that are now cold
that you collapsed into

you are wrapped in an old overcoat
you don’t remember owning
dreaming of trying to stay warm
in a high-raked hall of a tall-walled university
listening to a lecture on the mechanics of flashback
and your mind keeps wandering to a back shed
somewhere beyond the Wall in East Germany
full of homemade contraptions that were far too unreconstructed
ever to be sent to a Dickensian-looking patent office
piled high with yellowing documents
that curl like nineteenth century moustaches

you are in the long tail of a tall tale
a cat coiled up in itself asleep
the way those big ropes
that secure ships to their ports
are coiled into perfect circles
by nameless foreign seamen
the forever migrant workers
circling the globe
only one of whom
ever gets off the boat
to become Joseph Conrad

you are being asked by your roommate
your bunkmate your companion
what do you call someone
travelling with you on a night train
in one of the lower bunks
a person who for reasons unknown
shall remain nameless
to set an alarm so that she yes she
that much you can know
can wake up before the guard
who has no English comes with the croissants

you are sure you are reassuring her that you have
and it may be that you have
but you don’t remember in which country
or time zone you would have have-have-have done so
though you like the idea
that this act of thoughtfulness
may have occurred
and you being the enactor
if not the instigator of it

you are thinking that you may have to be the alarm clock yourself
though your clock hands are wrapped inside your imaginary overcoat
and not a lot about the rest of you resembles a device
for the capture and distribution of time

you are of the opinion that when you fell into this  sleep  in  a  cocoon  of  vibration  you
were  sure  or  at  least fairly certain that  it  would be a normal sleep that  is  to say just
like any other sleep but on the contrary  it  feels  as  if  you have been having the whole
history  of  consciousness downloaded into the data banks  of  your  body  which for an
unspecified period  of  time have replaced your usual cells but this  is  most odd as you
are  not  sure  if  you  believe  any more that consciousness  has  a  history  though  you
might  go  so far  as  to  offer  that it gets woven in to history finally realising that it was
only ever  a  visitor  to  the aforesaid state  of  you are not sure what really playing hide
and seek  in  the winding corridors and hallways of time and personality a game  it  got
caught up in but now understands it can step away from any time it wishes to exit
time that is to say whenever it no longer wishes to be part of
the here and the now
and the then and the to come

Knock, knock, knock!

so the question the guard asks you
in English by the way
is not would you care for some breakfast
but are you ready to be awoken from this dream of timelessness
or would you prefer to remain in a room of marvels
a disembodied spectacular down the rabbit hole of the fantasia elevator
taking up semipermanent residence in the cross-eyed manifesto
of time masterpieces of continuous previousness
a conspiracy of angels flocking in all directions at the holy speed of intuition
as you learn to live in the fantastic space

 

____________________________________________________________

smaller-cropped-Richard-James-Allen-portrait-by-Saba-Vasefi-Copyright-©-2016-The-Physical-TV-CompanyRichard James Allen’s ten books of poetry, fiction and performance texts include Fixing the Broken Nightingale(Flying Island Books), The Kamikaze Mind(Brandl & Schlesinger) and Thursday’s Fictions (Five Islands Press), shortlisted for the Kenneth Slessor Prize for Poetry.  He won the Chancellor’s Award for most outstanding PhD thesis at UTS.  Widely published in anthologies, journals and online for over thirty years, Allen has been the recipient of numerous awards, nominations, grants, as well as opportunities for presentations, screenings and broadcasts, in a unique international career as an acclaimed writer, director, choreographer and performer. Further information: http://ww.physicaltv.com.au & http://www.poetrylibrary.edu.au/poets/allen-richard-james.

September 22, 2015

TRICKLE DOWN VOODOO ANTICS

We say bad things about people who hurt us.

That way they’d let up to haunt & to curse us.

We didn’t dismiss their nonsense,

just cruelly,

We vent  and vanquish their malevolence.

& thus  Renewal.

July 15, 2015

WHAT BOOK?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — namelessneed @ 10:25 am

What Are You Reading Wednesdays can be a game better than Solitaire.To participate, open your current read to page 34 and answer the three questions listed below. If you have a blog, feel free to leave a link down in the comments so that others can visit and see your post. If you don’t, just leave a note with your answers.

The Questions are:
1. What’s the name of your current read?

2. Go to page 34 in your book  and share at least one complete sentence.

3. Would you like to live in the world that exists within your book? Why or why not?

.

1.”CUBA STRAITS”   BY RANDY WAYNE WHITE

2. “That bastard, Is there not a shred of Euro socialist integrity left in our leaders? A feeding frenzy of mobster behavior–that’s what’s happening, Even to advance Utopian goals, it is totally bogus.” He cringed and sighed. “Thank god Fidel and Francois Mitterrand aren’t alive to see this day”. Ford, attempting subtlety, replied, “A lot of people would agree”. He flicked on the aquarium’s lights and noted movement among clusters of oysters at the bottom of the tank that had appeared lifeless but were now coming alive. “Watch this. It took only two days to condition the stone crabs-see that big female creeping out? Lights mean it’s feeding time. At five days, even the barnacles started to respond.”

3. Sure, Randy takes us (very curiously) to forgotten Cuba, gives us a good look, & makes the heartbeat skip up as we keep our head down.

June 23, 2015

NO HOLDING BACK

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — namelessneed @ 10:03 am

Stoicism is a prison

Though I break out

Though I break down

Through the pull of a merciful act

Then I’m old and too weak to hold back

I can imagine a troubled

Panicicked angel tangled double;

One cat caught in a grate

A girl unfair in a wheelchair

Nears and dares her balance, her endurance, her tolerance

Strains all of her weight

Shows the pain that she’s used to on her face

Then relief, and they’re both free

She and the cat both refuse to

Cry more,

Like those that might see

June 19, 2015

LEG LIFTS JUST BEFORE THOSE SWIFT DOORS CLOSE; AN EXERCISE

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , — namelessneed @ 10:18 am

The next step/ waiting maybe  too wrong

into  dark matter

An other thing/ a rung on a dark ladder

A nothing/

As it happens/ not to happen/

The next step/ leg stiff/ fixing to flex

to a leg lift/

I’m fixing to find/ A gift of intentions

To move me to move/

given/ attention enough

to move on/ away from the station

June 3, 2015

What are you reading Wednesday (A Game better than solitaire?)– Jim Harrison’s “The Big Seven”

012115_0342_WhatAreYouR1.png
What Are You Reading Wednesdays can be a game better than Solitaire.To participate, open your current read to page 34 and answer the three questions listed below. If you have a blog, feel free to leave a link down in the comments so that others can visit and see your post. If you don’t, just leave a note with your answers.

The Questions are:
1. What’s the name of your current read?

2. Go to page 34 in your book or 34% in your eBook and share at least one complete sentence.

3. Would you like to live in the world that exists within your book? Why or why not?

.

My Answers this week are:

1. “The Big Seven”  by Jim Harrison

2.”He reflected that in literature our lives were rivers which seemed inappropriate to him. Rivers were unstoppable, of great power. We were primarily creeks or rivulets that flowed into rivers. You could hope your life to be a smooth, clear, strong creek. You could make it so with care. Or you could muddy it up with carelessness. Sunderson had to put himself in the latter category but then nothing was stopping a change.”

3.A careless old man in the woods, just this side of change? Um, OK

May 23, 2015

LOUD BARE TREES SWING ‘ROUND, THEN STOP

I must discuss

A dark circus is in town

A boy in a spin, and trees swing around

He drops, and the swing stops

New dewfrost falls, he’s lost

In all the bare trees

.

A heavy disguise

Could be of use here

So cover your eyes, please

Your lover’s indecent

And trying on lies

His heart’s denying hard here

It’s a fact;  Abstract lies

.

Squeezebox  hymns  seem

To squish by inbetween

Aligned  treebark

Lighted & Loudened by a fullmooncloud

Lions let free/  Dark

Circus tonight and if I might

Mix in that crowd

A heavy disguise could

Be of some use

May 11, 2015

SEA FOAM PHANTOMS

very lately

I’ve looked to see

just off a shoulder,

sharp right outside a window,

just off camera,

some one  or thing, I think.

The  There, then not  trick.

Here I’ll see it

here I’ll see it for what makes sense.

Y’see, I’ve evidence.

sea foam phantoms

left a belated beat back

just after this wave sweeps back.

I don’t think it’s drink

or the hours I should sleep or

all the private pranks I

fall for.

I’ll envision these

(facts)

green sea black deep.

May 2, 2015

FIREDANCE

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — namelessneed @ 6:18 am

“A man can bare himself before others only out of a particular kind of love. A love which acknowledges, as it were,that we are all wicked children”— Ludwig  Wittgenstein

Savagely,

I can dance around a fire.

If the spirits take notice,

If they’re drawn by this sight,

As  we   might  be

lured by the light

of dead stars, already,

If the spirits take notice of

Me at the blaze

My body and face,

(Not at all faking

What I choose  to let loose)

Shiny, and shaking  away my disease,

Let said spirits kindly

sign off on release.

.

.

.

(FROM 2012)

April 29, 2015

RED DUST, THEN

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — namelessneed @ 10:12 am

COROT

“Vee Ah Kahn Dee Yohss”,

A waif, an infant  waved me.

All  from god’s dirt. All dutiful.

Beautiful.

.

That desert land was flat as a cracker.

That red dust  rode up buzzard wings.

As a severe sun  must settle  on everything,

We must see the dust as a fact, there.

.

As it happened  my path was hard.

As it had been.

An innocent blessing to know,some, from that nino.

I needed to remember, and heed, then.

Now, & then.

.

.

.imagery: COROT

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