Honestly, I'm a Liar, & Other Balances & Imbalances

May 9, 2015

J U S T

I.     Lost

.

For now, awhile, I won’t let you pull me from the wreckage

But, how  you hold my hand, for both of us

Until the jaws of life  arrives/

Tho’ I’m not at a lost of words, I’m lost

In thought, “I’m lost”, I thought,

“And hiding from the hidden costs.”

.
 II.  Birdsong
.

I’ll dare to speak of sparrows

in shrapnel filled WW I battlefield winds,

in sharp scarlet dawns

they’ll sing to find their kind

if they’ve  lived,

a song will find its way back,

between the  blood & budding daybreak

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   III.    J U S T
.

it could be/ a branch of a tree

perched at a high hill

would have a new bud  just

breaking through/ it would be just for you

and in time  a blossom. You’d just

lift yr arm up/ and pull it down/ just in time

to drink it through

with yr deepest stealing breath.///

.Image

February 19, 2015

T H E W A I T I N G

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — namelessneed @ 9:05 am

Image

I couldn’t keep my shirt on

I actually had a hand at the door

I wouldn’t wait for the EKG guy

.

The express lines were full up at the IGA.

So was the cart in front of me, the one in my way.

My body required liquids  I needed to buy.

& me, I wouldn’t wait for the EKG guy

.

My car needed work (I see I did too, OK?)

Ever  still again, Time stalled & would stay.

Never, “Our time is up for today”

I’d bet Time’s  a fleeting debt, not a gift.

I about bolted  but my Ford’s on the lift.

.

You’d think a man with wait issues

Would shy away some

From a long-distance love, he could only see some.

How he’d wait & wait for  her laugh on the phone

How he’d wait & wait for  her letters to come

How he’d wait & wait for  liaisons  alone

How he’d wait & wait for  a time all their own.

.

.

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.Artwork  “The Waiting”  kindly loaned by Christian

http://chriseastmids.deviantart.com/

February 17, 2015

JUST/MISS

When I don’t hear from her

When we don’t talk

Instead of what might

just happen in late night

screwball comedies,

A black & white

Cakewalk

Where he keeps

Just missing her,

& unknown to her, her one & only is so near,

& you watch & wait for them to wise up,

For when their timing improves.

When I don’t hear from her

When we don’t talk

Instead of just sitting tight,

& trusting the plot twists,

& trusting our protagonists,

& holding still for all that insignificant subterfuge

Until it all plays out that

They can finally take cuts in the

Everything’s-Fine waiting line/

Instead of that

He keeps just missing her.

.

.

.

.

Yesterday at the yoga class

I was asked to exhale out

All the inside I saw as unsettled.

And all this matter turned to air.

Then, to take in a new air. A More awake. A More aware

Just

Miss

.

.

(From a year ago)

October 27, 2014

Rendezvous At Raddisons

Every session
She’ll sit side by side
Then  settle  back
An old start on a new bed
.
Every second
I’ll awaken, I’ll newly recollect, I’d
Nearly be taken back  by
An old start upon a new bed

July 26, 2014

HOW THEN THE HEAVENS POURED

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , — namelessneed @ 9:09 am

 

 

  

Should I get older

I recognize me,  more blind,

Crinking my neck back, there, as

I look up at the cliff terrace

And A windowed hideaway behind,

Not so unapproachably high,

Fixed over our Pacific, finally,

That we thought might couldn’t be.

Hard rain, hell, wept down a wet

that mixes well w/regret, on my shirt

.

                                                  2

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One can look past all our four shoulders

From inside the glass wall

On the backside of our Adirondacks

And maybe just make out

What we’re watching and talking about.

A man closely following his own footsteps

The long stretch of the shore,

But looked up at the both of us,

Here Hand in hand, and how then the heavens poured.

 

 

 

 

June 11, 2013

J U S T

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , — namelessneed @ 11:35 am

I.     Lost

For now, awhile, I won’t let you pull me from the wreckage

But, how you hold my hand, for both of us

Until the jaws of life  arrives/

Tho’ I’m not at a lost of words, I’m lost

In thought, “I’m lost”, I thought,

“And hiding from the hidden costs.”

.                     
 II.  Birdsong

I’ll dare to speak of sparrows

in shrapnel filled WW I battlefield winds,

in sharp scarlet dawns

they’ll sing to find their kind

if they’ve  lived,

a song will find its way back,

between the  blood & budding daybreak

.
    
   III.    J U S T

it could be/ a branch of a tree

perched at a high hill

would have a new bud  just

breaking through/ it would be just for you

and in time  a blossom. You’d just

lift yr arm up/ and pull it down/ just in time

to drink it through

with yr deepest stealing breath.///

.Image

.

.

.

December 6, 2012

Solid Things

 

 

 

 

There’s this secret I’ve kept so discreet

From lovers, & brothers, & mothers.

I’ve mis managed to become  so mum

It was only clearer to me

After  self therapy

The  other day,  or another.

.

From  this  encompassing  dream,

I   finally  wanted

All the  solid things  I was sold  to get,

When it’s important  to want one.

.

I   Get

Silk  batik ties, Italian silk shirts,

Mostly-silk  jackets,

Dry cleaned,  & all in the closet.

.

I  Wait For And Get

Too new Peter & P.J., Gabriel and Harvey,

Unheard of, they’re still in their jacket.

Too new Laurie Anderson, Richard Thompson,

Unheard of, they’re still in their jacket.

.

I  Waited  For  &  Get a

Big  Bio book   of Elliott Smith,

and the case is still closed

.

I   Get

New  Yorker’s

Drawings  &  Captions

All of them  (All these years)

Data   on   disc

unplayed  &  unsmiled  to. (sadly)

I   Got

New  Yorker’s

Drawings  & Captions

The Board Game…

.

..

Why  I  With-hold

All  that  pleasure,

I haven’t a clue.

It’s half-like  holding  love

At arm’s length,

& watching it  do

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